Character vs Relationships

Introduction: One of the most impressive architectural feats and the greatest military defense project in history is the Great Wall of China. In 1987, UNESCO designated the Great Wall a World Heritage site, and a popular controversial claim that emerged in the 20th century holds that it is the only man-made structure that is visible from space.

Originally conceived by Emperor Qin Shi Huang (c. 259-210 B.C.) in the 3rd Century B.C. as a means of preventing incursions from Mongolians and barbarian nomads into the Chinese Empire, the wall is one of the most extensive construction projects ever completed.

History has it that when the ancient Chinese decided to live in peace, they made the Great Wall of China; they thought no one could climb it due to its height. During the first 100 years of its existence, the Chinese were invaded thrice and every time, the hordes of enemy infantry had no need of penetrating or climbing over the wall, because each time, they bribed the guards and came through the doors.

The Chinese built the wall, but forgot the character – building of the wall-guards. Though the Great Wall has over the years become a powerful symbol of the country’s enduring strength and spirit, it has actually been a good reminder to the Chinese of the superiority of human character. How many people and homes had been invaded, looted and devastated by the enemy through the bribery of ego, self-indulgence, insincerity and unfaithfulness? The scriptures says.” *while men slept, the enemy came and sow tares into the harvest and go their way”.

The Chinese realized much later that the best defense against the enemy is not a fortified wall, but a fortified character. Thus, the building of human character comes before building of anything else

A man’s character is his fate. Heraclitus Thomas Jefferson, the third President of the United States (US), said: “Nothing can stop the man with the *right mental attitude* from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the *wrong mental attitude*”

Character is the summation of the principles you have down on the inside by which you live your life. It is the mental and moral attributes, whether good or evil, that defines you as an individual. A Person of Character demonstrates uncompromising integrity throughout the situations of life.

I want to say emphatically that *character is not optional;* it is sacrosanct to the future that God has planned for you and your home. No matter where you place prayers, character matters. *One of the greatest fraud in life is religion without character.* A man without character is recklessly alive. Anointing without character ends in annoyance!

A person’s character is based on their overall actions and qualities and should not be based on one or two isolated instances.

A. Examples,

1. King David was a man of good character (1 Samuel 13:14) but he was not without sin (2 Samuel 11).

2. King Ahab may have done one or two things right (1 Kings 22:35), but overall… he was still a man who had bad character (1 Kings 16:33).

Characters that build relationships – proverbs 4 vs 23-27

1. Truth – faithfulness proverbs 12 vs. 19, 22
2. Humility – remove pride and ego
3. Selflessness – Understand that people do not exist to serve you; you exist to serve them. Greatness is in the place of service.
4. Hospitability- treat people kindly – we must learn to treat people with courtesy. The Shunammite woman must have been praying for a child all through her life. By being hospitable to a man of God, she eventually got her much-awaited miracle. *It wasn’t prayer that opened the door for her; it was her character.* Assuming she wasn’t hospitable, she would have missed a critical miracle.
5. Integrity – let your yes be yes! loyalty
6. Gratefulness – Eliminate all sense of entitlement
7. Empathy – put yourself in the shoes of others
8. Self-discipline –set boundaries for yourself
9. Forgiveness – forgive the unforgivable
10.  Christ-like heart – what will Jesus do?

What we often call our destiny is truly our character, and since that character can change, then destiny can be altered. *Character is destiny*.

British writer and politician, Thomas Macaulay (1800-1859), said: “*the measure of a man’s character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out.”* I have often said that what would ultimately destroy a man going to high places in life is not really the enemies that are waiting for him there, but the character that followed him there.

The Consequences of Bad Character

A. Today’s decisions determine tomorrow’s circumstances.

1. Consider Adam and his choice (see Genesis 3). Adam’s wrong decision led to such terrible consequences — not only for himself, but for all of mankind – Romans 5:12 KJV (page 84). . Every one of the problems that you are facing right now — whether it be a generational curse, a disease, financial lack, feelings of insecurity, or low self-esteem — all these negative things are the result of Adam’s poor character

2. Jacob lied to his father and cheated his brother out of his birthright; then he ran away to his uncle Laban’s house (see Genesis 27). But the seeds of deception that Jacob sowed to obtain the birthright would later reap a harvest of consequences that would adversely affect him the rest of his life.

3. Choices are the only factors that decide whether God schedules our blessings or we schedule our consequences.

a. Consequences are dictated by the universal law of sowing and reaping.

b.   God cannot change the consequences of our choices without repentance and the application of His grace.

B.   A lack of character creates the platform for the destruction of intimacy.

This is the test you face every day in the area of character. Are you going to be transparent with God and others, or are you going to look for ways to hide from intimacy by covering up your lack of character? (See Genesis 3:6-10.) It drives your destiny helpers from you! Leads to an unhappy life, a life of much struggle.

C.      Bad character can truncate your purpose in life!

Saul lost a kingdom because of lack of character. He started well. In the beginning, he was too humble to approach the man of God without an offering (see 1 Samuel 9:6, 7).

 But he ended badly (see 1 Samuel 15). The prophet declared, “You have rejected the word of the Lord, and the Lord has rejected you from being king over Israel” – 1 Samuel 15:26 NKJV

We develop character by:

1. Control our thoughts and Guarding our hearts (Proverbs 4:23; Matthew 15:18-20) and (Philippians 4:8-9),

2. Practicing Christian conduct (2 Peter 1:5-8), kill yesterday, make the choice to develop Christian character. Our life today is a sum of 400 years of choices!

3. Keeping good company (1 Corinthians 15:33).

Summary

We have become so spiritually in tune through prayers that we neglect the place of character and our relationship with people. Many are actually ‘heavenly’ bound, but with no earthly relevance. You can speak with spiritual eloquence, pray in public and maintain a holy appearance, but it is your behavior and character that will actually trigger the manifestation of all that God has for you.

Many times, we pray, fast and bind demons that don’t exist when our real demons are just our greatly flawed character. _Many have insulted people that were divinely placed and orchestrated to help them fulfill their destiny. Some people are keeping malice with their destiny helpers.

Treat people with respect. 

Treat strangers with courtesy. 

Never look down on anybody. God can use anyone to change your story.

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. The way we treat people we think can’t help or hurt us, like housekeepers, waiters, and secretaries, tells more about our character than how we treat people we think are important. _How do you treat people?

Prayer is not EVERYTHING! Build relationships, build your family and don’t ever forget that God will always use man. Be mindful of your words and how you speak to people. Work seriously on your character and attitude towards life.

William Shakespeare captured it succinctly when he said: “The fault is not in our stars, but in ourselves*

“EACH GIVES WHAT HE HAS” How very true! You can only give what you have.